Sheldon Singleton

Does your mental attitude move you forward or keep you stuck in life?

Mental attitude is everything. Our thoughts are the only thing we have complete control over.

Life is going to throw curve balls at us and when they happen, we can either view them positively or negatively.

A positive mental attitude allows you to look for the opportunities, benefits, lessons learned, rather than the setbacks, the bad, and problems you encountered.

It causes you to have perseverance, persistency, and you figure out how it can be done rather than how it can’t be done.

There’s a belief in how people view the world. There is nothing in this world good or bad (this may be challenging because of terribly bad people in this world) but everything is balanced and it’s our “perception” that makes it good or bad.

Perception and attitude are how we view the world and are the foundation of the actions we take in our life.

A positive mental attitude allows you to experience and see more opportunities, successes, and have good luck in your life. There is an old saying “Like attracts like.”

When you have a positive mental attitude, you have an attractive personality. It shows up in everything you do. It helps you make more money, see more opportunities, get promotions, attract more business, attract more relationships, and strengthen your current ones.

You attract people in your life instead of being a negative person that repels people away from you.

What are some of the ways to develop a positive mental attitude?

1. The negative events that happen to you, scrutinize them, and make a written list of all the good that came from them. Remember the old saying “Behind every dark cloud there is a silver lining.” If you do this for a while, it will condition your mind to automatically see the positive.
2. Surround yourself with positive people and discard the negative ones. This may be hard at the start because they may be close friends or family members. Family members, limit their exposure.
3. Read, watch, listen to positive, and motivational materials. Remember, your mid is a fertile garden and must be weeded consciously of negative thoughts.
4. Avoid negative news, websites, and information in the morning and before bedtime. Watch and listen to positive podcasts, YouTube channels, audios, books, and music to prime your mind.
5. If you start to think negatively, STOP YOURSELF IMMEDIATELY. Do some type of action o interrupt the thought pattern, take deep breaths, and do everything on step 1.

Exercise

1. List the negative events that has happened in your life that are still affecting you. Think and write down all the positive benefits that have come from the event.
2. If you meet negative people or have them in your life, don’t give in to them. If you attempt to change their state, they don’t change, excuse yourself, and walk away from them.

Quote

“You become what you think about.” -Napoleon Hill

Most people are just getting day by day and they could make a huge impact in this world if they defined their purpose.

Everyone has a purpose for being here on this earth and they may not realize it. They all affect people whether they know it or not in some manner. Some are very clear on their purpose and make it happen, while most people have not defined their purpose.

What is your purpose? Why do you get up in the morning?

Is it you want to live the highest quality of life you can?

Or

Is it your family? Do you want to provide and create an environment to have the best quality of life and spend time with them?

Or

You want to make a difference in the world beyond your family and do as much good for others as possible?

There is difference between a “Life’s Purpose” and “General Life Purpose.” Your “General Life Purpose” is the starting point of your “Life’s Purpose” to determine who and what’s most important currently in your life.

We all must start somewhere, we must not feel guilty, and be at peace on who and what we currently feel what’s the most important in our lives.

Once you feel confident, you pursue the goals you desire becomes more enjoyable and easier.

This is the first step to success.

Exercises

1. Who do you want to spend time with and who benefits the most from with you at this phase of your life? Write it down in a paragraph and be honest.
2. Write down the reasons why you are focusing on this area in your life right now. It could be starting a family, having fun while you’re young, going out of country on a mission, or you have been highly successful, you’ve done what most people desire in a certain area of life, and you want to give back.
3. If you’re in a relationship, discuss this with them because there may be time and money commitments that take resources and you away from them. You may have to adjust your purpose after you talk to them.

Quote

“Many persons have a wrong idea that constitutes true happiness. It’s not attained thru self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.” -Heller Keller (1880-1968)

Success comes from failing forward, most people are afraid of failing, and you miss out on the lessons of success if you are afraid of failure.

Henry Ford became successful when the odds were against him.

Here are “7” lessons of success that we can learn from his experience.

Success is age independent.  At the age 15, Henry Ford constructed his first steam engine.

The success is not a formal education.  Ford was rumored to have a three-year formal education.

Success is filled by failure.  The Ford Motor Company was incorporated in 1903 with the Henry Ford as vice president and chief engineer.  He had two unsuccessful attempts to establish a company to manufacture automobiles.

Success is problem solving.  By early 1914, Ford had a monthly labor turnover rate of 40% to 60% in his factory because of the monotony of the assembly line work and increases in production.  He solved this problem by increasing the daily the wage to $5.00 which was unheard of at that time and cutting one hour off the workday.

Success is overcoming competition.  There were 50 startup companies a year in 1905 trying to get into the auto business and Ford succeeded.

Success is doing what you feel in your gut is right, despite public opinion. Ford’s daily wage increase plan was called by the Wall Street Journal “an economic crime,” and Ford was scorned by critics everywhere as “Fordism”.

Success is seeking out those who can help you with your goals.  Ford found 12 people in 1903, that were willing to invest $28,000 in another motor company.  Then he was able to begin the production of the Model A car.  In 1907, the profits reached $1,100,000 because the cars sold well.  Ford in 1909, decided to manufacture only one type of car and that was the Model T, which change automotive history forever.

Quote

“If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do anything, you’re right.” -Henry Ford (1863-1947)

Do you know what the most powerful and important word on the on the face of the earth is?

Your own name.

It is your identity.

Using a person’s name is the best way to build rapport with them.

The challenge is, when we first meet someone, we ask them their name, like most people, we forget it.

How do we become exceptional at remembering someone’s name?

Here are a few techniques below.

1. LISTEN AND PAY ATTENTION TO THEIR NAME.  Pay attention to their name when it’s given to you and make sure you recall it 5 seconds later.  This is halfway putting it into your long-term memory.
2. REPEAT IMMEDIATELY.  You should repeat their name immediately.  Here’s an example.  “It is a pleasure to meet you, John.” It’s best to say their name at the end of the sentence instead of the front. Saying it this way helps you remember their name quicker
3. REPEAT OFTEN. Use this technique sparingly.  Don’t over repeated because it will sound weird.
4. END THE CONVERSATION WITH THEIR NAME.  Example: “Bob, and it was great meeting you.” By ending the conversation this way shows the person you cared enough to remember their name and it helps sink it into your memory.
5. COMMENT ON AND/OR ASK QUESTIONS ABOUT THEIR NAME. Example: “Bob, have you always been called Bob or is Bob short for Robert?” If their name is unique, ask them about the origin or say it’s beautiful if you truly think it is.
6. REVIEW. After you end the conversation, review their name and face in your mind several times. Repeat this process many times over the next 24 hours. As you improve with steps 1 -5, this step will become less important.

Your memory is linked to your senses and emotions. As you connect more emotion and senses into remembering a name, it will become more difficult to forget.

Other techniques are:

1. FACE ASSOCIATION: Everyone’s face is unique. Remember a unique feature on their face. Create an association between the feature, the face, and the name in your mind. Associate the association with someone you may know, with the same name, rhyme, or image of the persons face or defining feature you know.
2. SUBSTITUTION.  Substitute objects that you can visualize with a person’s name you’re trying to remember.  Example, “Frank” can be substituted with Ball Park “Frank”.  Visualize the person at a baseball game eating a ballpark frank with all lots of ketchup on it and it’s all over his face.  The more outrageous you make the visualization, the more it will retain in your memory.  Be careful not to laugh as your visualizing this.
3. PAINT THEIR NAME ON THEIR FOREHEAD.  In your imagination, use your favorite color paint and clearly see each letter as you paint it.  If you are standing close to the person, look between their eyes and not directly at their forehead.
4. ASSOCIATION WITH SOMEONE YOU KNOW.  When you meet a person that has the same name of someone you know, think about that person.  Visualize the person you know in the same situation as the new person you have just met.

During the conversation if you forget the person’s name, don’t be afraid to ask them what their name is.  More than likely, they have forgotten yours too.  Say something like this, “Forgive me, but I forgot your name…” or “I apologize, what was your name again?”

As you practice these techniques when you meet people, it will eventually become second nature and you will stand out from the crowd.

Exercise

1. Look through magazines, school yearbooks, or any media where you see faces.  Remember the first name of at least 50 people. Try to avoid famous people.
2. As you watch a movie, commit to remembering the names of the characters.
3. Try to remember that the name of every person you meet because it makes them feel important and special.

Quote

“The secret of a good memory is attention, and attention to a subject depends upon our interest in it.  We rarely forget that which has made a deep impression on our minds.” -Tyrone Edwards (1809-1894)

Most people are fuzzy about their definition of success.

All human beings want to feel important and feel they made a difference in their circle of influence.

Some people focus on just getting through the week and living for the weekend while there are others who focus on careers or charities where they can make the most impact on the world.

If you don’t desire success, it will evade you and those who seek it out with a purpose, passion, and determination will find it.

Definition of success is different for each person. What are some of the common definitions for success?

Live the life of my dreams.

Passionately living each day.

Having enough money to do anything I want in my life.

Having appreciation and gratitude for life.

Being truly happy.

Having loved ones to enjoy and share my life and wealth with.

Being a positive difference influence in people’s lives.

Here’s a common mistake when people seek out material possessions and wealth at all costs. They end up feeling empty and depressed even though they are materially rich.

Remember the story of “Scrooge?”

What is your personal definition for success for 2023?

When it come to your personal definition of success, be specific. Don’t be general and use phrases such as “lots of money, be in shape, etc.”

Be specific such as ” I have an annual income of A and my net worth is B. or I weigh X and my BMI is Y.

Write this down and review it each day to keep it top of mind.

Quote

“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of uneducated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.” – Calvin Coolidge (1872-1933)

Success leaves clues and so does failure.

It’s the beginning of the new year and we all are excited for a fresh start.

This is where we all set new goals and promise ourselves this year will be different.

Then we look up, December 31st is upon us, we look at what we have achieved, and most of us aren’t happy with the results.

“What happened and where did I go off track?” we ask ourselves?

What happened is we ignored the daily actions to help us achieved the goals we want at the end of the year.

If you aren’t willing to have a hard look at yourself and change, you will continue to get the same results.

To help me increase my chances of success and I hope you take this journey with me, I’m reading and following the lessons from the book “Year To Success” by Bo Bennett.

There are 365 lessons in it, and you complete one each day.

I will be sharing a lesson I review each day with you on this blog.

Hope you decide to take and enjoy this journey with me.

Today’s Quote

Success = Education + Inspiration + Action + Review (adjust if need and reset) + repeat

There’s is a quote that says “Everything begins with thought.”

The way we see and act in the world all begins in our mind. We all have bias filters of how we interpret what we see and hear in the world.

With all of the information that comes at us from audio and visual informational sources, we need to be able to determine if the information is based upon fact or fiction.

I read a quote from Tony Robbins that said “We’re living in a world where we are drowning in information, starving for knowledge.”

Because anyone can post almost anything on social media and the internet we need to be able to discern fact from fiction.

So let me pose a question to you.

Do you think people value critical thinking?

I would say no, based upon the proof and evidence of people’s actions that we see in today’s world.

Most people blindly follow and accept certain opinions as fact and truth from certain editorial media stars or people in power that they admire from different informational sources without understanding their agenda and questioning what they say because they meet their confirmational biases.

What is a confirmational bias?

According to the definition from Wikipedia, “Confirmational Bias is the tendency to search for, interpret, favor, and recall information in a way that confirms or supports one’s prior beliefs or values.”

My confirmational bias is to seek out and follow principles that have been around for thousands of years that helps us all to become successful and better as a whole.

I know it’s a big task and if I can affect just one person at a time, I have accomplished my goal.

What is odd, people ignore or try to rewrite the facts or objective reality what’s right in front of their face.

In John Maxwell’s book “Thinking for Change”, Skill # 4 “Recognize the Importance of Realistic Thinking”, he talks about having a reality check.

He says, “Reality is the difference between what we wish and what is.”

There was a point and time where people who refused to accept “what is – reality” would be sent to professionals to get mental help.

How can anyone, a family, a company, an organization, or nation be successful if they refused to accept what is or the reality that is in front of their face?

They can’t!

There is a quote by Winston Churchill that says, “Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing has happened.”

That is why it is important to be a critical thinker in today’s world so we can understand fact vs. fiction and be able to see more clearly what agenda a person or organization has that is attempting influence our thoughts and behaviors.

We don’t want to be the unknowing victims of someone or an organization that is just seeking out power and money that doesn’t have us, our family, our nation, or our world as a whole best interest at heart.

When critical and realistic thinking is the foundation of our lives, we derive certainty and security from it.

Are you willing to question your confirmational biases and engage in critical and realistic thinking?

Have you ever done something and said “Why did I do that? What just happened?” I know I have and sometimes it drives me crazy!

I’m about to share with you something that master influencers’ know that the masses aren’t consciously aware of. They know how to tap into something that controls us all at a base level and it’s scary when you don’t know someone is pushing your buttons to cause you to act a certain way.

Did you know you were born with “8 Biological Desires” that is virtually impossible to resist? When you understand these desires, you can start to understand why you act a certain way and to a degree have some control over instead of acting on impulse.

Learning how to tap into these desires when influencing someone can make you virtually irresistible or you can create a business that is based on these desires. I want you to imagine the possibilities by learning what these are and what you can do with them. They are listed below.

1. Survival, enjoyment of life, living longer
2. Enjoyment of food and drinks
3. Avoidance of fear, pain and danger
4. Sexual companionship (procreation – the body doesn’t know the difference)
5. Pleasant living conditions
6. To win, be superior, keep up with your social circle
7. Protect and care for those you love
8. Social approval

These desires control all of us from a base level and they can’t be ignored. Since I have brought these deisres to the forefront of your mind, think about how these have affected your life at ceertain times.Now ask yourself how you can use this knowledge of these desires in your everyday life..

In my next blog I’m going to share with you the “9 Learned Desires” that control us.

Be powerful and be great!

Sheldon

What does Hollywood, Albert Einstein and Disney all have in common? They learned the power of this one word, understood its true nature and capitalized upon it.

Hollywood and Disney have built an empire and have made multiple billions, even trillions of dollars from understanding the power of this one word. Albert Einstein left a mark in history from understanding this word and had a famous quote about this  word. Another person changed her life and affected millions of people around the world when she became effective by tapping into this word, “J.K. Rowling.”

What most people don’t truly understand is how language influences the decisions we make in our lives everyday. Yet the majority of people never consciously think about the words we read, listen to and how they affect us.

There are certain words and phrases in the human language that will take control of your mind, hold it for hours and get you to think about anything that the person or organization wants plant in your mind.

Today I’m going to talk about one word that is used on us frequently that lights up our brain like a Christmas tree and it goes straight to the subconscious mind and works in it like a virus.

I know you’re wondering what the word is right now. Imagine a word that puts someone in a hypnotic trance every time the use it. Yes, that’s right.

The word is “Imagine.”  

Imagine has the potential to create images in your mind of your deepest dreams and desires or your deepest fears and nightmares. When you say Imagine to someone, the person’s mind pauses and waits to fill in the blank of what you want them to envision. Your subconscious mind is conditioned by your imagination. That’s why Disney calls their engineers Imagineers. Have you ever read a book, watched a movie, thought the best or worst of a situation? How did it affect you? We are wired to learn the most from stories and pictures which fires up our imagination in our mind like lighting.

Imagine now you’re in a conversation and you use this hypnotic trance word on someone you want to envision about a subject you’re attempting to communicate. How powerful is that!

Got you, didn’t I?  You see how it works. Isn’t it cool and powerful that you are now consciously becoming aware how powerful language is used on us everyday?

Since you know this, now go out there and use imagine for the good and help people get what they desire. There’s more good stuff coming! I can’t wait to share more with you!

“Imagination is more important than knowledge.” -Albert Einstein – 1879-1955 – Theoretical Physicist

Sheldon

Have you ever made a call on the phone or in person and asked the person you were calling on “Did I catch you at a good time?”

What response did you get? If you were like me before I learned this new skill to communicate, the majority of the time the person hesitated cautiously and said “It depends.” What if there was a better way to improve your response rate to people wanting to know why you were calling? That’s what I’m going to share with you on this blog today.

Have you ever heard of “Mismatching” before? The majority of communicators have never heard about this and it happens naturally everyday when we talk to someone.

Mismatching is an emotional knee jerk reflex that is a form of disagreement (resistance). It causes people to push back or disagree and take the opposite viewpoint of the communicator. There are different types of “Mismatching” and today I’m going to talk about the one for making calls.

Mismatching could be good or bad depending on the context of your communication.

Mismatching is good when you are carrying on a regular non-sales conversation because the other person you’re talking to wants to add value and contribute something (self-actualize) to the conversation. Imagine if you were talking to someone and they agreed with you on everything. All they said was “Yes, I agree.” You would quickly get tired of them and want to move on to someone who had their own opinion.

In a sales function, “Mismatching” is bad. It drives people away from agreement and that’s what makes sales happen. So knowing that people have a tendency to mismatch, let’s use this in our favor when making calls.

Instead of calling on someone and asking them “Did I catch you at a good time?” (old school technique), ask them  “Did I catch you at a bad time?” and see what happens.

When I started doing this, I was shocked how many more people wanted to know the reason why I was calling. If you want to know more about this subject, read the book “Secrets of Question Based Selling – 2nd Edition” by Thomas Freese. This author will give you the edge when it comes to sales skills for todays economy.

Sheldon